JASMINDA: It’s annoying – know what I mean?

DEAR Jasminda,

I’VE started dating a man named Reece.

Everything is great but he ends a lot of sentences with ‘do you know what I mean?’

Now I’m attuned to it. It’s all I can hear.

Is there a way I can break this irritating habit?

Carly F.

DEAR Carly,

IT is quite common for people to pick up annoying habits and habitual phrases, often subconsciously.

This is a recurrent issue with couples who spend a lot of time together.

Before long they start mirroring each other with shared expressions and mannerisms.

Certain words and sayings become fashionable over time too, until they are overused and then vanish into obscurity. I assume your new boyfriend is not expecting a response when he asks ‘do you know what I mean?’

It is what is known as a verbal filler and these overused expressions or words can become extremely irritating, though the person using them is often unaware.

One way to draw attention to the overuse is to respond each time with: ‘I think I know what you mean, but I can’t be entirely sure. Could you perhaps clarify with a bit more detail?’

Your response will become equally infuriating to your boyfriend and he may start to lessen the habit, if only to prevent the need to over-explain everything.

An alternative option is to come up with your own annoying phrases. There are so many to choose from.

For starters, how about ‘Yeah … Nah.’ This one became so popular that it ended up being used in a NSW road safety campaign to prevent people driving under the influence of alcohol.

Another popular one is ‘a hundred percent’. This is commonly used by influencers. In fact it has become so common that some are now saying ‘a thousand percent’ as a point of difference.

‘It is what it is’ is another expression that drives me absolutely spare (deliberate use of an idiom responding to an idiom).

And then there’s ‘I did a thing’, which is often accompanied by a brag post on social media attached to a photo of ‘the thing’: a new Lamborghini, climbing Mount Everest, making an outdoor spa from a wine barrel.

You get the idea.

Or how about: ‘at the end of the day’, which is stated at any time other than the end of the day to preempt a conclusive statement.

Or ‘to be honest,’ used in far too many sentences, and another verbal filler.

I think, Carly, if you start littering your sentences with any of these, perhaps your new man will start to realise the error of his ways.

Alternatively, he may pick up on your annoying phrases and soon you’ll be having conversations like:

‘Hey Carly, something just doesn’t feel quite right about this relationship, to be honest.’

‘A hundred percent, Reece, I’ve been feeling that too. It’s a shame, but it is what it is. Should we have a break?’

‘Yeah, nah, it’s too soon for that, Carly. And besides (Reece goes down on one knee and flips open a box and presents a one-carat diamond ring) I did a thing!’

‘Oh Reece, you shouldn’t have (thinks: you really shouldn’t have). At the end of the day, I just don’t think we’re quite right for each other.’

‘Carly, you’ve hurt me. I mean you’ve really hurt me. Do you know what I mean?’

Carpe diem,

Jasminda.