On the couch with Jasminda

DEAR Jasminda,

MANY years ago, my husband and I bought a vertical burial plot with space for three people.

My husband died years ago, we didn’t have any children, and I recently met another man.

Do you think it would be okay if my new soul mate and I used the two remaining plot spaces when the time comes?

Elissa D.

Dear Elissa,

While I don’t know a great deal about Feng shui, I suspect a graveyard threesome where one party cannot give consent (i.e. your long-departed husband) would be seriously bad karma.

Good karma would be placing grass (not Jim, the sinewy groundsman at Evergreen Haven) on top of your husband’s tomb.

It does bring up an important subject though.

Two, in fact.

The exorbitant price of burial plots, and the need to have funeral plans in place, so others don’t have to second guess your wishes.

In your husband’s case, for example, he could have put in a clause that he didn’t want to be buried near a tree (since the roots can cause havoc with the coffin), and he also didn’t want to be buried under Jim – Evergreen Haven’s resident Lothario (which will most certainly cause havoc with his ego if there’s an afterlife).

Elissa, please rethink your plans.

If money is the issue (and it may be since burial plots cost thousands of dollars), you could (and should) consider an inexpensive alternative.

Perhaps sell the plot and with the money opt for a simple cremation.

You could ask for your ashes to be scattered in the direction of your moral compass i.e. completely off the map.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.