‘On the couch’ with Jasminda

DEAR Jasminda,

MY 70-year-old mother has expressed an interest in learning the electric guitar.

How can I encourage her to try something more age-appropriate?

Gerard H.

Dear Gerard,

Well, don’t you sound like a wet sock.

And when I say wet sock, I mean one of those sports socks that ends up stuck behind the washing machine with water dripping on it from a split hose pipe until it turns into a stiff, stained, smelly, unproductive item.

Age-appropriate? At what age is it no longer acceptable to engage in an activity that keeps the brain engaged?

Do you think taking up a new creative outlet should be limited to those under 40?

What, in your mind, is more age-appropriate?

Bingo? Joining a crochet group? Donning a flowery swimming cap and a matronly one-piece and taking up synchronised swimming at the local pool? Seated lawn skittles?

If your mum is 70, I’d say she’s a force to be reckoned with.

She probably fought for equal pay, she no doubt marched for reproductive rights.

I bet she wore mini skirts and platform boots and suede flares.

She probably burnt her bra as part of the liberation movement.

And (along with her friends) she no doubt enacted a whole lot of other changes that future generations (like yours) benefit from.

While we’re at it, your mum no doubt gained a university degree and worked while trying to raise a family. That family includes you, Gerard, you judgy little wet sock.

Your mum would have spent endless days rocking you to sleep and changing your nappies and ensuring your every whim was attended to.

She no doubt did your washing and cooked your meals for decades too.

Then, like all the other mums out there, she worried about your every life stage, because that’s what mums do.

So now it’s her turn.

I hope she clears out your old bedroom and turns it into a not-so-soundproof studio.

I hope she puts out a casting call to other like-minded women who have spent their lives devoted to others. And I hope their first band meeting kicks off with a punk version of Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’. Maybe you can make a cameo, waving a wet sock for the ‘sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me’ section of the chorus.

Hell, you’ve made me want to learn the electric guitar. Or maybe the drums.

Can you send me your mum’s number?

And instead of being so discouraging (and disparaging) you should be proud that you are the son of a great role model who is keen to keep learning and embracing change.